Cause I’m A Little Unsteady

This morning began like any other morning. The blind walk through the darkness of the house to the coffee pot. The desire to slip back into the warmth of the bed, it nearly winning over the smell of coffee.  The knowledge that I have two minutes to look through Facebook before I have to wake up the kid…singing the same wake up song for her that I sing everyday.

Her and I have this thing in the morning; we listen to music.  Sometimes the same song over and over and sometimes we find a new one, and then we listen to it over and over.  But today, a song came on that struck a cord with me; Unsteady by X Ambassadors.  I have been told that some of the best writing comes from daily inspiration if you just pay attention to the world around you.  Having been inspired by a song and a book to go with it I hope it strikes a cord in you too.

The cord.  The light bulb.  That time where you are quite literally slapped in the face with a realization that a song relates to your life. Not all the lyrics, but enough that you see yourself in the words.

“Hold

Hold on,

Hold on to me

Cause I’m a little unsteady

A little unsteady”

These words.  After listening to them over and over, it made me think of a book and my life as a woman living with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  I love when an author can capture even a glimpse of what it is like to live with an illness.  Melanie Harlow wrote Some Sort of Happy and  was able to show what it can be like trying to have a relationship with someone that deals with OCD.   She gave us two characters; Sebastian and Skylar.  Sebastian lives alone, doesn’t get involved with women on a serious level and is secretive about that fact that he deals with OCD.  Before I go any farther, I would like to just clarify one thing.  OCD is not just about whether you wash your hands forty times. or switch a light switch on and off until it feels right to leave it off.  It is also about obsessive thinking.  Thoughts that loop through the mind over and over.  Usually, the thoughts are scary, anxiety provoking, intense and worrisome.  They are almost never warm fuzzy thoughts.  These are the things that Melanie describes Sebastian going through and man does it almost ruin the wonderful potential of what could be the love of his life.

“If you love me

Don’t let go”

I could almost hear Sebastian screaming those lyrics in his mind when he nearly lets the relationship fall to pieces.  It takes strength from both parties to want to support each other through an illness like this.  It doesn’t just affect the person suffering with it.  It affects the other partner as well.  It takes support and love and understanding even when they don’t understand.  It takes a willingness to accept that we all have our quirks but that it doesn’t define who or what we are.  We define that.  Our perceptions are our reality.  We can change our perceptions of ourselves if we only have the strength to do so.  Sebastian overcomes these perceptions and learns that he doesn’t have to be alone in this world.

We all feel alone from time to time.  We all have that place inside of us that we rarely share with anyone else.  So when that rare moment comes where that one person sees you, really sees you, with all your quirks and perceptions and realities.  Don’t worry if you are a little unsteady.  If you love them, don’t let go.  They will help you find your steady.  I found mine, and he never let go.

Alisha

Buy it now (it is free right now!) Some Sort of Happy

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